below the brine

Hey everyone! In case you weren’t aware, December is Pokémon Profile Picture Month on Facebook. All this resurgence in pokémon popularity got me thinking about just how crazy the pokémon games really are. Here are some thoughts to chew on. If you come up with any new ones, please feel free to post (as always).

APPARENTLY:

- Professor Oak can’t remember his grandson’s name, and will believe you when you tell him it’s “Douche.”

- Your hometown is conspicuously close to the easiest gym in the land. May God have mercy on the poor souls who were raised on Cinnabar Island.

- Having two Geodudes and an Onyx, all under level 15, qualifies you to be a gym leader.

- The only people ever to beat the gyms are you and your rival.

- Gyms exist so that the leaders and trainers may be defeated. Then they give out free badges and TM’s. OMG SOCIALISM!!!11

- Pokémon centers are open 24/7 and are completely free. Darned commies.

- There is no government to speak of.

- Pikachu refuses to stay in a poké ball, yet Mewtwo, Rayquaza, Dialga, and the other immortal one-of-a-kind legendary pokémon that control time and space allow themselves to be captured.

- You can store animals in a PC box.

- There are no Macs, only PC’s.

- A ten year-old can thrash the greatest trainers in the world.

- You can spray a “potion” on an injured animal to restore its health. In the real world, this translates to Windex.

- If you’re battling a wild Caterpie and your pokémon somehow faint, you black out yourself. Also, you can’t just stomp on the thing and run for it.

- The Day Care Man can never seem to figure out where eggs come from.

- Eggs hatch based on the number of steps you take, not on time or the heat of the egg.

- Wailord can mate with Skitty.

- Torchic can mate with Poochyena, but not with Pidgey.

- Random people everywhere want to challenge you to fights.

- Gambling is so socially acceptable that even children can participate!

- Missingno. Period.

- Your Pidgeotto needs the HM for Fly before it knows how to fly.

- [to quote Paul] Pokerus: A disease that gives pokemon the abilty to gain higher stat increases when they defeat a pokemon… wat?

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